Wednesday, January 28, 2015
being strong
Everyone tells me that im such a strong spirited person, a person who is not only strong physically but also mentally. I dont really know whether or not i should be happy about this. At one point, no one has ever seen the weak side of me except for you and I dont really know who to talk to at this time of the day because my thoughts are messing me up. I know its a good thing to be strong and all but they cant take it when im weak and sometimes, i just want to be weak and tell people that I cant handle it. They would always tell me that this is not the strong tham i know, tham is not that weak. i mean urgh..... i just wana break down and cry some times. not all the time i have to be strong. spiritually down. help.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
messed up
Dear Bie,
This week has been really rough and tough for you huh? All the drama and all the bad comments from others have kept you not only agitated but hurt so much, it breaks my heart to see you go through all these and all I can do is sit here and support you morally. I really dont know what is going to happen this week but I pray that things will get better and if it doesn't, I pray that you will have the strength to go through it. I am really sorry for pushing things and not considering Wini in things. I guess my goals were always set and that i was really selfish and did not care about others' feelings. I hope the future will always stay bright for us. I couldn't sleep well thinking about things, what should I do? What should I feel? What should be done? Why cant I just leave the thoughts at one side? I'm so messed up. I love you so much and I can give up anything for you (except religion) hahahahaha. When you told me how badly you were treated by Wini and how badly people said about you, I only wish and hope that you can take everything in. I feel sad cause I can't offer you a hug or lend you my shoulder as physically I am not present. However, I am happy for you as you are able to pick yourself right up and learn and mature and grow from these situation. I would like to see another Aaron who has his own mindset on things and philosophy one day. I hope the day when you mature is not far from now. I wish you all the best in studies and everything you do in life. About us, I really don't know how to control my feelings for you. I guess I will just have to let time do it's magic.
Love,
Me
This week has been really rough and tough for you huh? All the drama and all the bad comments from others have kept you not only agitated but hurt so much, it breaks my heart to see you go through all these and all I can do is sit here and support you morally. I really dont know what is going to happen this week but I pray that things will get better and if it doesn't, I pray that you will have the strength to go through it. I am really sorry for pushing things and not considering Wini in things. I guess my goals were always set and that i was really selfish and did not care about others' feelings. I hope the future will always stay bright for us. I couldn't sleep well thinking about things, what should I do? What should I feel? What should be done? Why cant I just leave the thoughts at one side? I'm so messed up. I love you so much and I can give up anything for you (except religion) hahahahaha. When you told me how badly you were treated by Wini and how badly people said about you, I only wish and hope that you can take everything in. I feel sad cause I can't offer you a hug or lend you my shoulder as physically I am not present. However, I am happy for you as you are able to pick yourself right up and learn and mature and grow from these situation. I would like to see another Aaron who has his own mindset on things and philosophy one day. I hope the day when you mature is not far from now. I wish you all the best in studies and everything you do in life. About us, I really don't know how to control my feelings for you. I guess I will just have to let time do it's magic.
Love,
Me
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Guilt
Dear Bie,
Having the guilt inside me is really killing me, I did not mean to hurt you nor your relationship with wini. I had no intention of slapping you and wrestling you. But thank you so much for teaching me one valuable lesson. You might think its just some bull shit telling you this but i really love you and I really found the purpose of life because of you. Thank you for teaching me something I have never learnt before. I miss you so much, I just want to be with you and just spend time with you. It's been some time when we fought like that and im sorry i was unable to control myself. I feel really bad and guilty. But i really love you without doubt. How I wish we were of the same race. You complete me so much but its just sad we cant grow old together. I hope im able to spend the max amount of time with you while im here.
love,
me
Having the guilt inside me is really killing me, I did not mean to hurt you nor your relationship with wini. I had no intention of slapping you and wrestling you. But thank you so much for teaching me one valuable lesson. You might think its just some bull shit telling you this but i really love you and I really found the purpose of life because of you. Thank you for teaching me something I have never learnt before. I miss you so much, I just want to be with you and just spend time with you. It's been some time when we fought like that and im sorry i was unable to control myself. I feel really bad and guilty. But i really love you without doubt. How I wish we were of the same race. You complete me so much but its just sad we cant grow old together. I hope im able to spend the max amount of time with you while im here.
love,
me
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