messed up

Dear Bie,
This week has been really rough and tough for you huh? All the drama and all the bad comments from others have kept you not only agitated but hurt so much, it breaks my heart to see you go through all these and all I can do is sit here and support you morally. I really dont know what is going to happen this week but I pray that things will get better and if it doesn't, I pray that you will have the strength to go through it. I am really sorry for pushing things and not considering Wini in things. I guess my goals were always set and that i  was really selfish and did not care about others' feelings. I hope the future will always stay bright for us. I couldn't sleep well thinking about things, what should I do? What should I feel? What should be done? Why cant I just leave the thoughts at one side? I'm so messed up. I love you so much and I can give up anything for you (except religion) hahahahaha. When you told me how badly you were treated by Wini and how badly people said about you, I only wish and hope that you can take everything in. I feel sad cause I can't offer you a hug or lend you my shoulder as physically I am not present. However, I am happy for you as you are able to pick yourself right up and learn and mature and grow from these situation. I would like to see another Aaron who has his own mindset on things and philosophy one day. I hope the day when you mature is not far from now. I wish you all the best in studies and everything you do in life. About us, I really don't know how to control my feelings for you. I guess I will just have to let time do it's magic.
Love,
Me